Well…it’s late

It’s so late. In so many ways. So late since I wrote my last blog. Let’s not even track when that was. It’s late just because…it’s late. 12:13 am is very late for me. Like, reeeeaal late. But it’s not too late. It’s never too late.

It’s never too late to realize shit about life. That’s what life is. Realizing stuff. Again and again. Even when you thought you had that shit figured out.

Things have been lining up. You know what I mean. Things are lining up in that way that makes your gut hum and feel good. And yes, we IBD people REALLY feel it in our guts. Signs are showing. I scratched a bug bite today and then, poof, was behind a pest control truck. I thought about Chick-fil-a and poof we were at the exit for Chicopee, Mass. My Dad loves streetcars and voila, there is the stop in Boston where we were. Ok, it’s not perfect science but you know what I mean. Life has a way. A way of showing you just enough to keep up the hope.

I have thought of so many blog posts over the past however many weeks. But none got my fingers to start typing like they did tonight. Or should I say this morning. Which is late. So late for a morning person. The signs have come together to make me sure that something is on the horizon. I guess I have already made that clear so I will get on with it.

At 48 (wow I said that), I have come to realize that there is no “easy street” around the corner. There is no such thing as “oh if we get through this, the rest will be easy”. Nope. Life is a real test. All the way. But here’s the twist. It’s a beautiful test. We get the privilege to live it the way we want. It is a constant day by day self-talk of how we want the day to go. I can make the decision to see the short-comings or I can look for the sunshine. Let’s be honest, many times, the sunshine is hard to find, often hidden underneath the mask of whatever life has handed us a few breaths before.

But then you see the pest control truck. Then you see the Chick-fil-a / Chicopee connection. Then you see all the other bright spots that were hidden but now are shining with a little dust of a cloth. What is my point you ask? I am sure I am not sure. But I am also very sure. The kind of sure where your stomach flutters and your mind races in a good way. The kind of sure where a desert mirage is real and things that were murky are now through a sieve. Still floundering about what this post is about? Me too. But yet I feel really really sure about it.